Final draft (week16)

Parents should not ban children from the internet.

 As a technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. Through this development, we can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. To a closer look at the internet, it is a controversial thing. For example, my brother has been also learning the words or studying on the internet until now. Studying in the internet is obviously a positive effect. However, there are existed some bad things about the internet. For instance, if there is no any restriction for people such as young children and teenagers, it can cause negative effects. Then, is there needed a parenting control? I don`t think so. I think the internet has many good points than bad ones. If the parents are interrupting or interfering the children`s tasks such as the internet, it can cause worse problems. So I think parents should not ban children from the internet.

 The Internet has always been, and always will be, a magic box(Marc Andreessen ,2008). With the improvement of technology, internet links us to the world of infinite possibilities reflecting the magic box literally. Nowadays, most students find themselves depending on the internet as a source to research and complete their assignments. Actually, with the improving information on the net, it serves as incredible tools to students in enhancing students on their studies introducing a whole new level of academic performances. Over-reliance, on the other hand, will deteriorate studies. There is a saying “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” Proper control of oneself is highly needed to provide self-measurement in such cases.

 Likewise, Sometimes children can do some bad things such as watching a violence, playing games, and chatting with friends a lot. However, parents can be enough to control children’s online activity without banning it. Instead, it will be easier to keep an eye on children`s online activity. So, It is important to build trust with children and teenagers regarding being responsible for using the internet safely. In addition, a child should never know more than a parent does about the internet. That is why it is important that you know how to use a computer and the internet or learn if you don’t know.(AYSH S,2014)

 Perhaps, some parents worry about the internet addiction because most of them think using the internet is related to an addiction. But, I think we have to say about the topic without the addiction. Because the addiction is not a problem that is related the using the internet but the times. Thus, We should think it in spite of all the risks and parents should teach them about that safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because we were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers.(Leslie Davis)

 Now let’s take a look at the several reasons that support my argument. First, if parents ban children from the internet, they lost the trust from their children. In fact, the one thing that every parent should give their child is the trust. Without trust, children will never have the confidence in himself or herself to be true to others. When parents switch off the internet, children will find ways to get on it. Because they feel, it is unfair. So they may not be doing it in front of you but they will always be trying to find the passwords, keys and ways to get themselves on it secretly. It isn't like if parents shut off the internet at their home, their children have it gone out of their life. Children can get on the internet at other places like school or a friend's place or even internet cafes. After all, parents and children will not trust each other. Thus, parents also respect their children`s thoughts and behaviors.

 Second, Children can be missed a chance to get information and education (NOBullying,2014). The internet is a beneficial tool for children to enhance their reading skills and has a huge resource of information. Think of it as the Library. Just like there are good books, bad books and irrelevant books, so has the internet. There is every reason for our children to be on the internet. In fact, children can explore new ideas, gather information for the topics that interest them. They can look for more references for what have been taught at school and find easier methods to understand a topic. Through it, they can practically travel the world understanding multi-cultures. They also get entertainment in the form of videos and games and then there are their chances to communicate and stay in touch with their families and friends. When parents switch off the internet for them, all this is hindered. So, parents are disadvantaging their children in a skill that they need to survive in today's world.

 Actually, Except these, there are lots of evidence. Using the internet is useful for people, especially children. Because there are many things, they can do with the internet. For example, they can study a homework or search the information through the internet. And, they can communicate with their friends or relatives. If they use it not excessively, it can help them variously.

 Someone says parents ensure their children`s safety by banning the internet. But I don`t agree with it. I know that their main concern is always the safety of their children. Safety, whether it is online or offline, should be talked about at home. It is highly possible for parents to avoid talking about internet safety when you keep their children from the internet. When they have taken their children off the internet, and they are going off to their friends place to surf the net, there is every chance that they may become victims to internet predators. So banning the internet to protect children is useless. Instead, it is better to keep an eye on them while they’re using the internet not banning it. Also, some parents worried about the risk of their child from the pedophiles.(MailOnline,2007) 

 However, there is little possibility such things. And it can occur in reality no in a cyberspace. Thus, it can not the main problem of the using internet. Perhaps, in terms of the strict parents, children may feel difficulties. In that time, I recommend them not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. The internet has a good content but if it could be excessive, it can not afford to not run. And yet, internet is helpful for children. I think it is the cored thing.

 In conclusion, though many kinds of unwanted materials are available on the internet, there are large amounts of helpful materials for the children. So, Parents can monitor their children’s online activities, and it can be of help to classify which is a needed information. Through this process, children can study hard and obtain help from the internet. Thus, it is better to allow children to use the internet rather than ban the internet. Parents are only keeping an eye on their children while they’re using the internet. I think it is the only solution to maintain a relationship between parents and children, and maximize a strong point of the internet using. Lastly, I recommend for children not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. By conducting it, parents think they have a splendid relationship with their children.  As the internet grows, most of us should be careful to use it. Thus, all children should try to use correctly.

Reference

Marc Andreessen(2008). Marc Andreessen Quote
http://izquotes.com/quote/5291

Seluzfahik(2013). Parents Should Not Ban Their Children from Using the Internet
http://selusfahik.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/parents-should-not-ban-their-children-from-using-the-internet/

Leslie Davis. The Internet May Be Causing More Harm to Your Children Than You Think
http://www.video-game-addiction.org/video-game-addiction-articles/internet-may-be-causing-more-harm-to-your-children-than-you-think.htm

MailOnline(May 2007) Parents ban children from internet chatrooms over fears of paedophiles
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html


NOBullying(8th May 2014) Kids Internet Safety: Don’t Ban – Educate!
http://nobullying.com/kids-internet-safety-dont-ban-educate/

AYSH S(MAY 2014) 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BAN THE INTERNET FOR YOUR CHILD
http://www.wordsnneedles.com/2014/05/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-ban.html

Meg(March 2014) 10 REASONS WHY I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE MY CHILDREN HANDHELD DEVICES
http://hipmombrarian.com/2014/03/11/10-reasons-why-i-will-continue-to-give-my-children-handheld-devices/

(week14) Peer review 오도윤`s 20712

5 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Thought provoking and captivating

• Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

3 points

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Some evidence of drafting and research

2 points

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

0 points

• Incomplete or inadequate

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?

I`ll give 3 points. 작성하신 글은 주제와는 부합하는 내용이었지만 글쓴이께서 원하셨던 내용인 'I really want to spread the effects of exercise and benefits of exercise. '라는 말과는 달리 전반적인 내용이 운동의 이익과 불이익(즉, 장단점 ) 모두를 언급하여 오히려 혼란을 주는것 같습니다. 원하시는 방향이 있는 만큼 운동의 영향에서도 긍정적인 측면을 주로 언급하는게 나을 것 같습니다. 부정적인 측면의 글을 굳이 많이 드러내지 않으면서도 충분히 내용전개가 가능할 것 같습니다.
............................................................................................................................................

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?

앞서 말한바와 같이 내용의 치중성을 이익의 측면에 좀 더 두는게 나을 듯 싶습니다. 또한 'Doing exercise can play important acts. Also people can use the energy by doing exercise. In addition, Exercising prevents many diseases such as arthritis, and aging process. Therefore, Many people learn and do the exercise' 부분에서 너무 간다명료하게만 나타내어 조금 이해하기 힘든 부분도 있으므로 조금 더 부가 설명이 더해지면 나을 듯 싶습니다.
................................................................................................................................................

Thesis
What is the thesis?
 I think that exercise affects on human mind. 부분인 것 같습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
thesis 부분은 충분히 명료하지만 affects 라는 부분에 대해서 조금 자세한 설명이 있으면 좋겠습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
이 thesis에 대해서는 어느정도 동의합니다. 만약 단점에 대해 많은 언급을 하지 않을 경우에는 I think that exercising helps us the physical and mental ability. 가 더 적당할 것 같습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Any other thoughts?
no
..................................................................................................................................................

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?

어느 부분이 빠졌다기 보다는 전반적인 내용에 고루고루 적혀있어서 5개의 부분으로 딱 나누기에는 어려운 듯 합니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
시작부분은 충분히 뒷 이야기를 이끌 수 있을 듯 합니다. 다만 초반부터 두가지 의견의 대립보다는 일방적인 부분을 언급하고 후에 refutation 쪽에서 다른측의 이야기도 꺼내는 것이 더 나을 듯 합니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
어느정도의 정보 제공은 하지만 뒤에 나오는  hippocampus나 아니면 추가적인 배경이 조금은 더 있어야 할것 같습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
앞서 말한바와 같이 주장에 대한 부가설명이 조금 더 있으면 이해하는데 좋을 것 같습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?

앞에서 이미 제공하였습니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?

찬성 / 반대라고 나누기 보다는 운동이 제공하는 이점이 많다 라는 쪽에 찬성합니다.
..................................................................................................................................................

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?

앞의 내용과 동일
..................................................................................................................................................

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?

원래의 생각과 같아서 바뀌진 않았지만 전반적인 이점이 설득력있었음
..................................................................................................................................................

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?

앞의 내용과 동일
..................................................................................................................................................

Research
Is the author using research effectively?

YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

Is the research from appropriate sources?

YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

Are the sources obvious?

YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?

YES.
..................................................................................................................................................

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?

NO
..................................................................................................................................................

Secod draft (week 12)

Parents should not ban children from the internet.

As technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. Through this development, we can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. To a closer look at the internet, it is a controversial thing. For example, my brother has been also learning the words or studying in the internet until now. This is obviously a positive effect. However,there are existed some bad things about the internet. For instance, if there is no any restriction for people such as young children and teenagers, it can cause negative effects. Then, is there needed a parenting control? I don`t think so. I think the internet has many good points than bad ones. If the parents are interrupting or interfering the children`s tasks such as the internet, it can cause worse problems. So I think parents should not ban children from the internet.

The Internet has always been, and always will be, a magic box. With the improvement of technology, internet links us to the world of infinite possibilities reflecting the word magic box literally. Most students nowadays find themselves relying on internet as a source to research and complete their assignments. In fact, with the improving information on the net, it serves as an incredible tool to students in enhancing students on their studies introducing a whole new level of academic performances. Over reliance, on the other hand, will deteriorate studies. There is a saying “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” Appropriate control of oneself is greatly needed to provide self measurement in such cases.

Likewise, Sometimes children can do some bad things such as watching a violence, playing games, and chatting with friends a lot. However, parents can be enough to control children’s online activity without banning it. Instead, it will be easier to keep an eye on children`s online activity. So, It is important to build trust with children and teenagers regarding being responsible for using the internet safely. In addition, a child should never know more than a parent does about the internet. That is why it is important that you know how to use a computer and the internet or learn if you don’t know.

Maybe some people worry about the addiction. But, I think we have to say it without the addiction. Because the addiction is not a problem which is related the using the internet but the times. So, without the problem of addiction, using the internet is never harm to children. Thus, We should inspite of all the risks, parents should teach them about those safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because we were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers. 

Now let’s take a look at the several reasons that support my argument. First, If parents ban children from the internet, they lost the trust from their children. In fact, the one thing that every parent should give their child is trust. Without trust, children will never have the confidence in himself or herself to be true to others. When parents switch off the internet, children will find ways to get on it. Because they feel it is unfair. So they may not be doing it in front of you but they will always be trying to find the passwords, keys and ways to get themselves on it secretly. It isn't like if parents shut off the internet at their home, their children have it gone out of their life. Children can get on the internet at other places like school or a friend's place or even internet cafes. After all, parents and children will not trust each other. Thus, parents also respect their children`s thoughts and behaviors.

Second, Children are missed a chance to get information and educate. The internet is a beneficial tool for children to improve their reading skills and has a huge resource of information . Think of it as the Library. Just like there are good books, bad books and inappropriate books, so has the internet. There is every reason for our children to be on the internet. Actually, children can explore new ideas, gather information for the topics that interest them; they can look for more references for what have been taught at school; find easier methods to understand a topic and they can virtually travel the world understanding multi cultures and histories. They also get entertainment in the form of videos and games and then there are their chances to communicate and stay in touch with their families and friends. When parents switch off the internet for them, all this is hindered. So, parents are disadvantaging their children in a skill that they need to survive in today's world.

Actually, except these, there are lots of evidence. Using the internet is useful for people, especially children. Because there are many things they can do with the internet. For example, they can study a homework or search the information through the internet. And, they can communicate with their friends or relatives. If they use it not excessively, it can help them variously.

Someone says parents ensure their children`s safety by banning the internet. But I don`t agree with it. I know that their main concern is always the safety of their children. Safety, whether it is online or offline, should always be talked about at home. It is highly possible for parents to avoid talking about internet safety when you ban the internet. When they have taken their children off the internet and they are going off to their friends place to surf the net, there is every chance that they may become victims to internet predators. So banning the internet to protect children is useless. Instead, it is better to keep an eye on them while they’re using the internet not banning it. Also, some parents worried about a risk of their child from the paedophiles. 
However, there is little possibility such things. And it can occur in reality no in a cyber space. Thus, it can not the main problem of the using internet. Perhaps, in terms of the strict parents, children may feel difficulties. In that time, I recommend them not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. The internet has a good content but if it could be excessive, it can not afford to not run. And yet, internet is helpful for children. I think it is the core thing.

In conclusion, although thousands of unwanted materials are available on the internet, there are large amounts of educative material for the children. So, Parents can monitor their children’s online activities and it can be of help to classify which is a needed information. Through this, children can study hard and obtain help from the internet. Thus, it is better to allow children to use the internet rather than ban the internet. Parents are only keeping an eye on their children while they’re using the internet. This is the only solution to maintain relationship between parents and children, and maximize a strong point of the internet using. Lastly, I recommend for children not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. By doing this, parents think they have a very good relationship with their children.  As the internet grows, most of us should be careful to use it. Thus, all children should try to use correctly.

Self Evaluation Template (week11)

Self Evaluation Template

1) What score do you think you deserve? Here is the rubric:

2 points - The first draft is thoughtful and a good start to an effective persuasive essay. It demonstrates an understanding of the classical argument.

1 point - The student completes a first draft that demonstrates an understanding of the classical argument

0 points - The first draft is inadequate

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2) What did you do well?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

arguments are based off of opinions and personal feelings.
3) What could you have done better?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4) Which part of the classical argument did you use the best?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5) Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6) What's your strategy to make your second draft better? My narration is strong. I do a good job explaining the foundations of the issue, and I prepare my audience to hear my argument.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

First draft(revised version)

Parents should not ban children from the internet.

As technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. Through this development, we can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. Actually, my brother was also learning the words or studying in the internet when he was young. However, there are existed some bad things about the internet, if there is no any restriction for people using it. These conditions may cause serious risks for the internet users, especially children and teenagers if they use it without parenting controls. Then, is there needed a parenting control? I don`t think so. If the parents are interrupting or interfering the children`s tasks such as the internet, it can cause worse problems.

 

Sometimes children can do some bad things such as watching a violence, playing games, and chatting with friends a lot. However, parents can control children’s online activity without banning it. Instead, by making a good circumstance, it will be easier to keep an eye on children`s online activity. So, It is important to build trust with children and teenagers regarding being responsible for using the internet safely. In addition, a child should never know more than a parent does about the internet. That is why it is important that you know how to use a computer and the internet or learn if you don’t know.

 

Also. The Internet has always been, and always will be, a magic box. With the improvement of technology, internet links us to the world of infinite possibilities reflecting the word magic box literally. Most students nowadays find themselves relying on internet as a source to perform research and complete their assignment. In fact, with the ever improving information on the net, it serves as an incredible tool to students in further enhancing students on their studies introducing a whole new level of academic performances. Yet over reliance on the other hand, will deteriorate studies. There is a saying “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” Appropriate control of oneself is greatly needed to provide self measurement in such cases.

 

Maybe some people think about the addiction. But, I think we have to say it without the addiction. Because the addiction is not a problem which is related the using the internet but the times. So, without the problem of addiction, using the internet is never harm to children. Thus, We should inspite of all the risks, parents should teach them about those safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers. I think adults should not ban children from using internet

 

First, If parents ban children from the internet, they lost the trust from their children. In fact, the one thing that every parent should give their child is trust. Without trust, children will never have the confidence in himself or herself to be true to others. When parents switch off the internet, children will find ways to get on it. Because they feel it is unfair. So they may not be doing it in front of you but they will always be trying to find the passwords, keys and ways to get themselves on it secretly. It isn't like if parents shut off the internet at their home, their children have it gone out of their life. Children can get on the internet at other places like school or a friend's place or even internet cafes. After all, parents and children will not trust each other. Thus, parents also respect their children`s thoughts and behaviors.

 

Second, Children are missed a chance to get information and educate. The internet is a beneficial tool for children to improve their reading skills and has a huge resource of information . Think of it as the Library. Just like there are good books, bad books and inappropriate books, so has the internet. There is every reason for our children to be on the internet. Actually, children can explore new ideas, gather information for the topics that interest them; they can look for more references for what have been taught at school; find easier methods to understand a topic and they can virtually travel the world understanding multi cultures and histories. They also get entertainment in the form of videos and games and then there are their chances to communicate and stay in touch with their families and friends. When parents switch off the internet for them, all this is hindered. So, parents are disadvantaging their children in a skill that they need to survive in today's world.

 

Actually, except these, there are lots of evidence. Using the internet is useful for people, especially children. Because there are many things they can do with the internet. For example, they can study a homework or search the information through the internet. And, they can communicate with their friends or relatives. If they use it not excessively, it can help them variously.

Someone says parents ensure their children`s safety by banning the internet. But I don`t agree with it. I know that their main concern is always the safety of their children. Safety, whether it is online or offline, should always be talked about at home. It is highly possible for parents to avoid talking about internet safety when you ban the internet. When they have taken their children off the internet and they are going off to their friends place to surf the net, there is every chance that they may become victims to internet predators. So banning the internet to protect children is useless. Instead, it is better to keep an eye on them while they’re using the internet not banning it. Also, some parents worried about a risk of their child from the paedophiles.(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html)

 

However, there is little possibility such things. And it can occur in reality no in a cyber space. Thus, it can not the main problem of the using internet.

However, in terms of the strict parents, children may feel difficulties. In that time, I recommend them not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. The internet has a good content but if it could be excessive, it can not afford to not run. And yet, internet is helpful for children.

 

In conclusion, although thousands of unwanted materials are available on the internet, there are large amounts of educative material for the children. So, Parents can monitor their children’s online activities and it can be of help to classify which is a needed information. Through this, children can study hard and obtain help from the internet. Thus, it is better to allow children to use the internet rather than ban the internet. Parents are only keeping an eye on their children while they’re using the internet. This is the only solution to maintain relationship between parents and children, and maximize a strong point of the internet using. Lastly, I recommend for children not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. By doing this, parents think they have a very good relationship with their children.

Conclusion (week10)

In conclusion, although thousands of unwanted materials are available on the internet, there are large amounts of educative material for the children. So, Parents can monitor their children’s online activities and it can be of help to classify which is a needed information. Through this, children can study hard and obtain help from the internet. Thus, it is better to allow children to use the internet rather than ban the internet. Parents are only keeping an eye on their children while they’re using the internet. This is the only solution to maintain relationship between parents and children, and maximize a strong point of the internet using. Lastly, I recommend for children not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. By doing this, parents think they have  a  very  good relationship with their children.

Refutation and Concession (week9)

1. What is my thesis?

Parents should teach children about those safety, security and ethical issues and should not ban children from using the internet.

2. What is the opposite position?
Parents should ban children from using the internet.

3. What arguments can I anticipate?
 Opponents can refer to negative aspects of the internet such as 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/3112014-ban-kids-from-handheld-devices-electronics/ 

HTTP://WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM/CRIS-ROWAN/10-REASONS-WHY-HANDHELD-DEVICES-SHOULD-BE-BANNED_B_4899218.HTML 

4. How will I counter those arguments?

I strongly insist my opinions based on

 http://nobullying.com/kids-internet-safety-dont-ban-educate/ - In this article, the publisher insists  that just educate them on the ways in which to use technology positively. So it support my opinion.

http://www.wordsnneedles.com/2014/05/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-ban.html -In this passage, there are 5 reasons about the topic. And there is a advice such as "We should inspite of all the risks, teach them this life skill (called technology) and you should teach them about those safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers. If you tell them not to do something, they will go ahead and do it anyway. Let them."
http://hipmombrarian.com/2014/03/11/10-reasons-why-i-will-continue-to-give-my-children-handheld-devices/- In this passage,  there are reasons why parents will continue giving my children handheld devices and I suppose that the internet is included in handheld devices. 

My Refutation and Concession

Someone says parents ensure their children`s safety by banning the internet. But I don`t agree with it. I know that their main concern is always the safety of their children. Safety, whether it is online or offline, should always be talked about at home. It is highly possible for parents to avoid talking about internet safety when you ban the internet. When they have taken their children off the internet and they are going off to their friends place to surf the net, there is every chance that they may become victims to internet predators. So banning the internet to protect children is useless. Instead, it is better to keep an eye on them while they’re using the internet not banning it. Also, some parents worried about a risk of their child from the paedophiles.(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html)
 However, there is little possibility such things. And it can occur in reality no in a cyber space. Thus, it can not the main problem of the using internet.
However, in terms of the  strict parents, children may feel difficulties. In that time, I recommend them not to use the internet a lot but use it properly. The internet has a good content but if it could be excessive, it can not afford to not run. And yet, internet is helpful for children.

Confirmation (week8)

1. What is my thesis?
Parents should teach children about those safety, security and ethical issues and should not ban children from using the internet.
2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis? 
I am using articles and writing, which is written by a publisher.

3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
My arguments have an evidence. I support my opinion based on only the evidence. Also, I use some information with emotion. 
My Confirmation

First,If parents ban children from the internet, they lost the trust from their children. In fact, the one thing that every parent should give their child is trust. Without trust, children will never have the confidence in himself or herself to be true to others. When parents switch off the internet, children will find ways to get on it. Because they feel it is unfair. So they may not be doing it in front of you but they will always be trying to find the passwords, keys and ways to get themselves on it secretly. It isn't like if parents shut off the internet at their home, their children have it gone out of their life. Children can get on the internet at other places like school or a friend's place or even internet cafes. After all, parents and children will not trust each other. Thus, parents also respect their children`s thoughts and behaviors.

Second, Children are missed a chance to get information and educate. The internet is a beneficial tool for children to improve their reading skills and has a huge resource of information . Think of it as the Library. Just like there are good books, bad books and inappropriate books, so has the internet. There is every reason for our children to be on the internet. Actually, children can explore new ideas, gather information for the topics that interest them; they can look for more references for what have been taught at school; find easier methods to understand a topic and they can virtually travel the world understanding multi cultures and histories. They also get entertainment in the form of videos and games and then there are their chances to communicate and stay in touch with their families and friends. When parents switch off the internet for them, all this is hindered. So, parents are disadvantaging their children in a skill that they need to survive in today's world.

Actually, except these, there are lots of evidence. Using the internet is useful for people, especially children. Because there are many things they can do with the internet. For example, they can study a homework or search the information through the internet. And, they can communicate with their friends or relatives. If they use it not excessively, it can help them variously.

http://www.wordsnneedles.com/2014/05/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-ban.html

Narration (week7)

My persuasive argument thesis is: Although parents keep children from doing internet, it is not enough to defend them. Rather, it is a harm to their relationship. So, parents should not ban children from the internet.

1. What do people already know about my topic?

 Everyone knows that we live in the information-oriented society now. People know that they can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. Also, People know that internet is bad for children sometimes.

2. What research has already been done about my topic?

http://nobullying.com/kids-internet-safety-dont-ban-educate/ - In this article, the publisher insists  that just educate them on the ways in which to use technology positively. So it support my opinion.

http://www.wordsnneedles.com/2014/05/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-ban.html -In this passage, there are 5 reasons about the topic. And there is a advice such as "We should inspite of all the risks, teach them this life skill (called technology) and you should teach them about those safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers. If you tell them not to do something, they will go ahead and do it anyway. Let them."
http://hipmombrarian.com/2014/03/11/10-reasons-why-i-will-continue-to-give-my-children-handheld-devices/ - In this passage,  there are reasons why parents will continue giving my children handheld devices and I suppose that the internet is included in handheld devices. 

3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

The outcome may be better than banning the internet. Children can study a homework or search the information through the internet. As a result, internet does not harm to children. Th positive effects can cover the negative effects. 

My Narration

Sometimes children can do some bad things such as watching a violence, playing games, and chatting with friends a lot. However, parents can control children’s online activity without banning it. Instead, by making a good circumstance, it will be easier to keep an eye on children`s online activity. So, It is important to build trust with children and teenagers regarding being responsible for using the internet safely. In addition, a child should never know more than a parent does about the internet. That is why it is important that you know how to use a computer and the internet or learn if you don’t know.

Also. The Internet has always been, and always will be, a magic box. With the improvement of technology, internet links us to the world of infinite possibilities reflecting the word magic box literally. Most students nowadays find themselves relying on internet as a source to perform research and complete their assignment. In fact, with the ever improving information on the net, it serves as an incredible tool to students in further enhancing students on their studies introducing a whole new level of academic performances. Yet over reliance on the other hand, will deteriorate studies. There is a saying “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.” Appropriate control of oneself is greatly needed to provide self measurement in such cases.

Maybe some people think about the addiction. But, I think we have to say it without the addiction. Because the addiction is not a problem which is related the using the internet but the times. So, without the problem of addiction, using the internet is never harm to children. Thus, We should inspite of all the risks,  parents should teach them about those safety, security and ethical issues too. We know all what we know today because were subjected to it. Children are natural risk takers.  I think adults should not ban children from using internet

Introduction (week6)

As technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. Through this development, we can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. Actually, my brother was also learning the words or studying in the internet when he was young. However, there are existed some bad things about the internet, if there is no any restriction for people using it. These conditions may cause serious risks for the internet users, especially children and teenagers if they use it without parenting controls. Then, is there needed a parenting control? I don`t think so. If the parents are interrupting or interfering the children`s tasks such as the internet, it can cause worse problems.

1. Attention grabber -
I attracted the audience by describing recent situations. I also give an example to people which is familiar with them. And, I use a '?' to attract the audiences` attentions or interests.

2. Explains the topic -
In the attention grabber I introduce a situation and a specific person of my topic: A situation is when parents are not controlling their children to ban the internet. And, I put a specific person such as parents and children.

3. My thesis -
 I thought the argument "Parents should not ban children from the internet." is a little difficult to understand. So I give a situation to accept it easily.

First draft (week4~5)

As technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. And the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. However, there are existed some good and bad things, and there is no any restriction for people using it. These conditions may cause serious risks for the internet users, especially children and teenagers if they use it without parenting controls. I will discuss some problems related to the use of internet by children and teenagers and also give solution to tackle the problems concerning the serious risks. So I will explain why it should not be banned by parents.

 

Sometimes children can do some bad things such as watching a violence, playing games, and chatting with friends a lot. However, parents can control children’s online activity not banning it. Instead, by making a good circumstance, it will be easier to keep an eye on children`s online activity. Furthermore, it is important to build trust with children and teenagers regarding being responsible for using the internet safely. Thus, I think adults should not ban children from using internet

 

First, parents lost the trust from their children. In fact, the one thing that every parent should give their child is trust. Without trust, children will never have the confidence in himself or herself to be true to others. When parents switch off the internet, children will find ways to get on it. Because they feel it is unfair. So they may not be doing it in front of you but they will always be trying to find the passwords, keys and ways to get themselves on it secretly. It isn't like if parents shut off the internet at their home, their children have it gone out of their life. Children can get on the internet at other places like school or a friend's place or even internet cafes. After all, parents and children will not trust each other. Thus, parents also respect their children`s thoughts and behaviors.

 

Second, Children are missed a chance to get information and educate. The internet is a beneficial tool for children to improve their reading skills and has a huge resource of information . Think of it as the Library. Just like there are good books, bad books and inappropriate books, so has the internet. There is every reason for our children to be on the internet. Actually, children can explore new ideas, gather information for the topics that interest them; they can look for more references for what have been taught at school; find easier methods to understand a topic and they can virtually travel the world understanding multi cultures and histories. They also get entertainment in the form of videos and games and then there are their chances to communicate and stay in touch with their families and friends. When parents switch off the internet for them, all this is hindered. So, parents are disadvantaging their children in a skill that they need to survive in today's world.

 

Someone says parents ensure their children`s safety by banning the internet. But I don`t agree with it. I know that their main concern is always the safety of their children. Safety, whether it is online or offline, should always be talked about at home. It is highly possible for parents to avoid talking about internet safety when you ban the internet. When they have taken their children off the internet and they are going off to their friends place to surf the net, there is every chance that they may become victims to internet predators. So banning the internet to protect children is useless. Instead, it is better to keep an eye on them while they’re using the internet not banning it.

 

In conclusion, although thousands of unwanted materials are available on the internet, there are large amounts of educative material for the children. So, Parents can monitor their children’s online activities and it can be of help to classify which is a needed information. Through this, children can study hard and obtain help from the internet. Thus, it is better to allow children to use the internet rather than ban the internet. Parents are only keeping an eye on their children while they’re using the internet. This is the only solution to maintain relationship between parents and children, and maximize a strong point of the internet using. 

Research Proposal + Articulation (week3)

What is my current topic?
*Explain the topic you want to research. What do you think your final persuasive essay will be about? Add as much detail as you can

 Topic is that Should parents ban children from the internet?. And I disagree with this. 

 - Adults means a mature, fully developed person => such as parents
 - Children mean people who are not yet an adult.

What are my guiding questions?

*What questions are you curious about? 
I wonder why adults protect children from using the internet. I think using the internet is not always bad. It has lots of positive effects such as http://www.wordsnneedles.com/2014/05/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-ban.html .

What do you want to know? 
I already know about this topic and both sides. But I want to ensure that parents are allowed children to use the internet. This is not harm for them but good for them.

What questions do you think your reader will have?
I appeal my thoughts which insist the opposit to the topic. So the reader will have a thought which is about the negative effects of using the internet. Or they consider Which is better banning children or not.


What are my current thoughts?
*What do you already know about your topic? 
I already know about this topic and both sides.
What are your opinions? 
I disagree with this topic. 
What do you want to persuade people of?
I emphasize the positive effects of using the internet. In our society, the internet is important, especially for children. They must know how to use it inevitably. So parents should not ban children from the internet.

What is the opposition?
*What will your opponents say? 
They will talk about the negative such as http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/3112014-ban-kids-from-handheld-devices-electronics/ - 5 reasons why we should ban little kids from electronics(text) : negative

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html - Parents ban children from internet chatrooms over fears of paedophiles( the article) : negative

HTTP://WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM/CRIS-ROWAN/10-REASONS-WHY-HANDHELD-DEVICES-SHOULD-BE-BANNED_B_4899218.HTML - 10 Reasons Why Handheld Devices Should Be Banned for Children(article) : negative

What is the common belief that you are arguing against? 
The excessive using is bad for children.  
What counterarguments do you anticipate?
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/3112014-ban-kids-from-handheld-devices-electronics/ - 5 reasons why we should ban little kids from electronics(text) : negative

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-458919/Parents-ban-children-internet-chatrooms-fears-paedophiles.html - Parents ban children from internet chatrooms over fears of paedophiles( the article) : negative

HTTP://WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM/CRIS-ROWAN/10-REASONS-WHY-HANDHELD-DEVICES-SHOULD-BE-BANNED_B_4899218.HTML - 10 Reasons Why Handheld Devices Should Be Banned for Children(article) : negative

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Articulation

1) My argument Write your argument in one sentence. Then, spend some time explaining it.
Parents should not ban children from the internet.  Now, we live in the information-oriented society. So, it is no longer a problem to use the internet even for children. They can obtain lots of information from it.

2) How I found my argument Explain how your research helped you find your argument. Or, in other words, how did your research evolve into your argument? Start with your research question.
There have been many disputes over the proper way to allow children using the internet. So between two sides, I chose "Parents should not ban children from the internet."

3) New research questions What do you still need to know? What is your research plan?
I curious about both sides` insists. So I will try to know their thoughts and I determind my opinion based on these.
At first, I`ll research the articles about the topic. And, I devide them into two sides. Maybe, I need to a con side.

4) Connections to the Harvard Sampler How is your argument connected to the Harvard Sampler? ANY CONNECTION IS VALID. Please focus on choosing a good argument first, then think about how it is related to the Harvard Sampler. I will help you think of the connection if necessary.

 The Internet and Hieronymus Bosch: Fear, Protection, and Liberty in Cyberspace (Internet Fear) - Fear that children will associate online with bad people has led to tracking and
monitoring requirements and to a market in “nanny software” to make parents aware
of their children’s wanderings through cyberspace. Of course, the same technologies
that can control personal computer use by American children can be directed at
monitoring the activities of citizens of totalitarian regimes—or even in the United
States, where the Defense Department’s Total Information Awareness program was
killed only when Congress became aware of its potential as a program of civilian
surveillance.