As technology in the cyberspace has been growing rapidly in recent times, we live in the information-oriented society now. Through this development, we can live comfortable lives because the internet has become the most useful communication and education tool. Actually, my brother was also learning the words or studying in the internet when he was young. However, there are existed some bad things about the internet, if there is no any restriction for people using it. These conditions may cause serious risks for the internet users, especially children and teenagers if they use it without parenting controls. Then, is there needed a parenting control? I don`t think so. If the parents are interrupting or interfering the children`s tasks such as the internet, it can cause worse problems.
1. Attention grabber -
I attracted the audience by describing recent situations. I also give an example to people which is familiar with them. And, I use a '?' to attract the audiences` attentions or interests.
2. Explains the topic -
In the attention grabber I introduce a situation and a specific person of my topic: A situation is when parents are not controlling their children to ban the internet. And, I put a specific person such as parents and children.
3. My thesis -
I thought the argument "Parents should not ban children from the internet." is a little difficult to understand. So I give a situation to accept it easily.
Good job, but please follow the guideline here:
답글삭제http://samteachersperformancetest.blogspot.kr/2014/09/the-introduction-of-my-first-draft.html
Where is the attention grabber, explanation of the topic and your thesis statement?
By stating them, you know you are on the right track.
I added it now. But I have a difficulty to understand my thesis statement in this question.
삭제